Is that cup half-empty or half-full? The optimist sees it as half-full, the pessimist sees it as half-empty, and the engineer sees that the cup is twice as big as it needs to be! :-)
This week’s tip for getting the most from your reading might be the single most challenging issue we face when we are seeking guidance. I know it’s a major one for me! I can easily be the kind of person who sees that cup as half-empty, and who’s not very adept at getting out of her own way.
I am not Pollyanna, and I know that challenging circumstances, feeling stuck, and seeking change for a less-than-perfect situation can bring out the negativity in all of us. So, even if we don’t feel “positive”, the question can be framed in a constructive way – one that seeks a solution rather than emphasizing (and reinforcing) the problem. Phrasing the question in a constructive way indicates confidence that useful information will come through in the answer.
· Be Positive
Be positive when framing your questions. Consider the difference between each of these sets of questions:
How come I can’t get my book published?
How can I locate the ideal forum for publishing my book?
Why do I get so fearful, freeze up and get nauseated when I have to speak in public?
How can I improve my ability to speak to groups effectively?
Can you help me understand why I always blow my diet when I’m near my goal?
Can you help me find a way to push on to lose that last 10 pounds?
Why can’t I let my guy call me when he says he will? I always jump the gun and call first.
How can I trust myself and my significant other more and let the relationship unfold?
The first questions all have an air of defeat. The second questions are more confident and show that the questioner believes he/she will be successfully given useful advice.
So instead of asking:
· How come I never …?
· Why can't I …?
· Can you help me understand why I always (screw up, ruin, blow it)…?
Try asking:
· How can I improve my ability to …?
· How can I locate, identify, position myself…?
· Can you help me find a way to (succeed, prosper, manifest)…?
I believe you’ll find more clarity from the answers in your Tarot reading if we approach your questions in a constructive, positive way. When you’re ready to give it a try, give me a call!
Love and peace,
Dona
Destiny Tarot® Copyright 2006 by Dona C. Murphy. All rights reserved.
Experience a Tarot reading with me! Visit:destiny/ Tarot®
Saturday, May 19, 2007
Getting The Most From Your Reading
Friday, May 18, 2007
More Tips on Framing Questions
My first post looked at framing questions from the perspective of personal responsibility for ourselves and our situations in order to benefit from the guidance of a Tarot reading. Today, I'll talk about two more ways of framing questions that open up possibilities and allow guidance to flow.
Keeping Your Options Open: Frame your question to show that you are keeping your options open, rather than those that indicate you have chosen a certain course of action or made a decision ahead of time. For example, when you ask,
“How might I encourage my adult child to move out of the house?” you're asking a question to which you have already decided on one solution – that your adult child must move out.
Instead, consider asking, “What do I need to know (or do) to get along better with my child?” which is more open-ended and doesn’t decide on a specific answer ahead of time. There may be more possibilities for a solution than you've considered, and the guidance that comes may surprise you. Also, this type of question puts the focus on your way of thinking and acting - something over which you have direct control, rather than forcing or influencing the other person's way of thinking and acting.
Level of Detail: There is often a fine line between wording that is too vague and that which is too detailed. While you can certainly ask the tarot for a “general” reading, the answers you receive will also typically be “general”. At the other end of the spectrum is the too-detailed question. Here are three questions on the same topic:
1. How can I improve my relationship situation?
2. How can I divide chores so that Joe will help out around the house?
3. How can I improve the way Joe and I handle housework?
The first question is too general and doesn’t specify what area of the relationship is of interest. The second question is too detailed and looks at only one aspect of the problem. The third question is best because it finds the balance between the two. Include only the details necessary for clarity on what you want to know.
And, if you ask, "what will happen when I speak with Joe on Tuesday April 24th at 2:00 p.m.?"; you may get a specific answer, but without context or some idea of the circumstances surrounding the events, you will probably miss the bigger picture.
These are just some of the suggestions my clients have found useful. I can also help you to frame your questions without wasting your time and money, or asking YOU a lot of questions.
Love and peace,
Dona
Experience a Tarot reading with me! Visit:Destiny Tarot®
