Buddha and the Blue Streak*

Lately, I’ve had several clients consulting me about their career opportunities. Whether looking for work while unemployed, or seeking to better their career prospects through new jobs, the questions focus on both the exhilaration and frustration of the search process.

In many ways it’s like the dating process – the mutual evaluation between the seeker and the prospective employer, waiting for phone calls, looking for ways to best meet our needs and do something that brings us a rewarding experience as well as offering our best to the other party.

Another similarity to the dating process is the feeling of vulnerability that comes from “putting ourselves out there” and risking rejection. However, without risking potential rejection we also eliminate the chance for acceptance.

When a client of mine recently expressed through a series of e-mails the wild upswings and downturns she was experiencing during her job search, she stated her frustration with the process and her feelings of exhaustion. Her feelings were constantly fluctuating based on the moment-to-moment changes in her situation: a good prospect turned out to be a poor match, an offer from a very desirable company didn’t come, an offer came that wasn’t very desirable or suitable…all of us have been through these experiences, and it often feels exactly like a ride on a wild roller coaster.

I addressed her concerns with this, a Buddhist perspective:

"Suffer what there is to suffer. Enjoy what there is to enjoy. Regard both suffering and joy as facts of life, and continue… no matter what happens.”
From the Gosho of Nichiren Daishonin


It is counter-productive and detrimental to our health and well-being to repress, deny or try NOT to feel what we feel; whether it’s elation and excitement or disappointment and sadness. The key is non-attachment: to feel what we feel yet not attach a sense of permanence or meaning to the feeling beyond the present moment.

That overused cliché of the day, "it is what it is" actually expresses the core of this philosophy. It's when we take our feelings (which are transient) and attach to them as a fixed state (“things will always be this way…) or extrapolate from them future states (“this is how it’s always going to be…it will never change…”) that we get ourselves into trouble.

We step on and strap into the roller-coaster ride when we allow external circumstances to hit us where we live (our internal center of self-confidence, self-esteem and our sense of self-worth). The mercurial changes in our mood and feelings, excited and happy one moment, disappointed and anxious the next moment, are a result of attachment. External circumstances change all the time - often radically, and they turn on a dime. The more attached we are, the rougher the ride - up, down, up, down, over and over, all the time.

So in work, in love, or in any situation where you find your feelings and moods alternately soaring and plummeting; stop and take a breath. Step back. Observe and recognize the transient nature of each moment. You will regain your center, feel calm and comfortable in your own skin – and be happy.

Love and peace,
Dona

*Blue Streak is a roller coaster ride at the Cedar Point amusement park in Sandusky, Ohio.

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